smile !

ok..today i feel like being a queen and hearing nice things about myself! ! otherwise... OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!!
so instead of me writing nice things about myself ( which i have to say is not very difficult..!)
i will direct you all to some very nice things said about me.. by a very nice girl.
so check out this.
and everybody smile!! :)

twenty things.

right.
so i have been tagged.
deep breaths. think of trees. think of gently flowing water. think pink. deep breaths.

so apparently i have to write 20 things about myself..
hmmm..i could just make up 20 things about myself?? right? wrong! the gal who knows me the best is gonna read this and probably die laughing. for eg: i could say that my interests include working with geometrics and observing their relvance in contemporary life as exhibited by electrical appliances. i have no clue what i just wrote but i'm quite sure it doesn't make any sense. and somehwere, far far away, ruchita is falling off her chair laughing!
so here i go.
20 things about myself. true things.

one. i have terrible panic attacks. not the kind which i can laugh off or the kind which evryone has 10 times a day. im talking heavy duty stuff here. its a problem i discovered in std 7th the day before my history exam. in the throes of a panic attack i feel like the world is ending, that nothing can be right again , that my life is over. they are horrible. and i havent met anybody as yet who suffers from them .. so i feel pretty isolated.

two. i generally hate people the first time i meet them . believe me. i've hated all my good friends the first time i saw them. unexplicable but true..

three. i'm a shy shy person. which is why people mostly think i'm a snob when they first meet me. nope..that's just me putting up a brave exterior whereas inside the butterflies are flying around in droves. it takes me a long while to make friends.

four. i take friendship a bit too seriously. i expect a lot and give a lot. in my opinion, no relationship is worth having if you can't have a 100% of the other person. and i don't let go too easily! (how many of you are scared of me by now?)

five. a dog bit me once. so i hated dogs with a vengeance for sometime. then my sister brought home two cocker spaniel puppies and i fell head over heels in love for the first time. cuddles and hugs and liquid,limpid puppy eyes .. sigh!
i cherish a small hope that one day i'll be able to open a dog shelter of my own or maybe even be part of a dog protection society. one day.

six. i drink a lot . i used to totter home from bars , punch drunk and singing inane songs while doing a disoriented jig.. i had to be put into therapy and.. er..
ok fine ..fine! that's not true. can't blame a girl for trying
im a compulsive, obsessive tea drinker. tea is my therapy .. my escape, my drink of solitude. give me a cup of tea and i'm happy . the origin of this obsession dates back to my nerve shattering, brain splitting , board exam giving days. all i remember of those days is the piles of notes and text books and the cup of tea my mum used to make whenevr i took a break. so from then on, a cup of tea represents my mum's love.

seven. i have the self confidence of a snail. i totally believe i'm useless and worth my wieght in.. what .. snails? the only thing i am confident about is that i can write a book titled ' how to hate yourself and write a book about it '

eight. i am immensely proud about being a scorpio . sadly , it's the only thing which people find interesting about me . so now i generally don't tell people my name , i just tell them i'm a scorpio. and frankly, they really don't seem to care . they're too busy being impressed.

nine. my sister is younger than me. by 7 years. my sister is also taller than me . by 3 inches. i don't like it.

ten. i love to walk. i go for long walks and i go for short walks. i walk in the rain and i walk in the sun. but i only like to walk by choice .. tell me i have to walk and i won't.

eleven. i'm a profoundly unreasonable person. the smallest things can irritate me and the littlest of slights can make me angry. when i'm hurt or angry , i don't talk. i sulk. i withdraw into a shell and i hurt. when things go wrong , i can't deal with it there and then . i have to wait and allow myself to come to terms with it. my defence is in escapism. i can forgive but i never forget.

twelve. i'm a self-declared material girl. i love gifts and surprises. sometimes , it's ludicriously easy to please me. i can never stay angry for long . even if you buy me a lollipop i'll forget the 12 million quid you stole from me.the way to my heart is through my gift laden hands.

thirteen. i don't like ketchup . i don't drink soft drinks . and i can't tolerate sea food. but i love hot chilli with garlic sauce . i adore watermelon juice. and i would die for chicken.

fourteen. i don't like giving random compliments. sometimes i have to. but i generally won't give anybody a compliment until and unless i really truly mean it. but then, sometimes i can give a compliment and mean the exact opposite of it. it confuses a few people.

fifteen. i have no respect for people who aren't hard working and/or sincere. the results don't matter. it's the effort you put in that does.

sixteen. i have very flexible opinions. i can change my opinion on something 2-3 times a day. i am very influenced by other's opinions .which is why i'm a shaky decision maker. but once my decision is made.. it is made and absolutely nothing can change it.
no..just kidding.
once my decision is made ..i lose confidence in it and quickly make another one. and so ..the cycle continues. .

seventeen. i love birthdays. i don't believe people who say 'birthdays are just a state of mind' . nope..a birthday is a special day .it's your day . it's the day when you can walk around with a smile on your lips and expect only good things to happen to you. the day when you can let all your worries leave you. i believe in making them special. i believe in birthdays.

eighteen. i don't like crowds. they always put me in a bad mood and turn me into a fire spitting , people hating , people pushing and people shoving person.

nineteen. i spend 80% of any given day in my imagination. i have a whole parallel universe to myself and i love it because i know that it's always gonna have a happy ending.

twenty. i love happy endings . i also believe in we have the power to change any ending into a happy ending. i just wish i knew how to use that power. sigh!

and so it's done. phew!!

'my phirang life'

humans are forever leading their lives based on misconceptions or pre-concieved notions!

my parents have recently shifted base from india to uk..
cue: people gasp , eye me enviously and have visions of me strutting around in manolos ,drinking cosmos at some posh pub surrounded by cute brits who are apparently floored by my stunning never-seen-before looks!
reality:sitting at home (on the floor no less) wearing fluffly slippers (with a dancing frog on them) and sipping water while my sister tries to steal my glitter pens..at the same time commenting on how the huge zit on my nose makes me look like the evil witch of the west..

1.the british accent
try stuffing a few carrots up your nose ,filling your mouth with mashed potatoes and then talking..really, its a remarkable impression of this accent..
and i DON'T understand it!
shopguy:hiya,nice day innit?
me:eh...
shopguy(scanning in my buys):thats a load of stuff..havin a party mate?
me(looking around frantically):erm..
shopguy(lookin at me suspiciously):that'll be £24.75 ..card or cash?
me(wishing i was being eaten by a tiger):ah..
shopguy(deciding im on the run from an asylum):okay..so here's your change..cheers mate!
me(deciding i mite as well go hang myself now):um..
(side note:the above is based on what i assume the shop guy must have said..of course he might as well have been speaking swahili)

2.the over the top polite people
apparently one must actually greet people one meets on the street. its all the rage! people go about nodding to each other qand trading friendly smiles. the first time it happened to me, i sqwaked and ran home petrified. who knows what that 89 year old lady's intentions wight have been?
ive spent 21 years of my life mastering the art of ignoring people /giving them evil glares/plotting their murders.. all in the course of a day.
who ever heard of being nice to others??

3.the as smooth as tom cruise traffic
being able to drive without people trying to run you down is a very daunting experience indeed. and no fun, might i add! i never knew traffic lights actually had a purpose..i really assumed they were for decoration.. you know to entertain the drivers...er..
in a normal world , a trip to the market in the car would involve running down any pedestrians, squashing a few dogs and swerving around the various other vehicles whose sole mission in life is to reduce you to pulp.

4.the solitude
now undoubtedly,anyone who has lived in india all their lives has yet to encounter silence.
over here, though, its really really quiet..i spend most mornings fretting over whether i've gone deaf or have some severe aural disease. honestly, what's wrong with these people?

5.the laaaydeeez
apparently there is some kind of a rule here that if one goes out ( even next door) one has to dress better than gwyneth paltrow on the red carpet.and also, sneakers have not as yet been discovered i n this part of the world..oh no..5 inches or more..otherwise you're a social outcast. as i have discovered the hard way.


so this is all for now.. i will come back!
p.s. in no way is this to be misconstrued as a sign of degradation of India. it is just a few random observations.
you can take the girl out of india, you can't take India out of the girl!

weather woes..

what should i write about?
what should i say??
i started writing down a couple of lines but they seemed to be going nowhere. then i wrote a few more, but they were equally useless and prone to cause severe drooping of eyes (also known as boredom).
then i stopped and i thought and i wrote a few more. and a few more and am still writing them..
this is what happens when your brain and the rest of your facilities have an argument and decide to dissociate from each other thus causing severe side- effects to the poor unsuspecting person whose components they happen to be.
let me tell you something, this post is going nowhere.
my hands are itching and telling me that they want to write a post ..an intelligent post, my brain is telling me 'nothing doing dude' and is promptly putting up its feet and switching through channels.
so it transpires that this post is written without any help whatsoever from my brain.

anyway, this post is about something..
guess what? the weather! !
when in doubt,discuss the weather
much has been written and said and discussed about english weather. i'll just add my bit.
it has been year when water decided it will try for world domination . attempts resulted in the tsunami and hurricanes and random floods. the indefatigable human spirit overcame all of them . water realized it was fighting a losing battle. it has now decided that if it cannot drown all of us, it will depress us.
and so it rains.
it has been raining non-continuously for the past few days.
ah you say..that's better than it raining continuously right? nope.

it rains in the morning and then it stops, allowing a petrified sun to show us its face . thereby giving us false hope. we cheer up .make grand plans for the afternoon ( must get some shopping done today!) and just as we are triumphantly tripping along to the local market, the sun gives a squeal, disappears and the clouds reappear with much evil laughter (disguised as rumbling)
and it starts raining.
notice the precision of the timing. it didn't rain when we were close enough to dash back home, it doesn't wait till we are close enough to hop into a shop . oh no..it rains when we are smack in the middle!!

And it doesn’t rain, it drizzles. At least if it rained buckets there would be a small chance of a flood. Not that im partial to floods but it would give us an opportunity to dress up and climb onto the roof/cling to a tree/hang onto a rock and wave enthusiastically to the television cameras. 15 minutes of fame.

The English people though seem to be well adapted . im mildly surprised they haven’t developed fins or flippers till now.
Its raining and I am gazing morosely out of my window dreaming about happier days when I actually used to wish and wait for rain. now i just wish and wait for them to stop! talk about wishes being fulfilled!!

Two girls wearing shorts jog past . as I gaze at them incredously , a family decked up in full beach paraphernalia , carrying buckets and spades and chattering excitedly walks past. Im just about to rush out and offer them an umbrella when I stop, exhale and realize they’re English. Oh yeah.
I’ve discovered the English classify seasons according to the amount of rain.
Light drizzle= spring/summer
Heavy drizzle= autumn
Pouring rain= winter
And as I write this, I can see a gaggle of old ladies playing golf on the golf course in front of our house. they really seem to be enjoying themselves.. Oh.. need I mention? Its raining.

I don’t think that anything over here is ever really dry. Dry is a just a hypothetical and much fabled state similar to the land of Narnia.
When the English come back from vacations to dry countries, their conversations go something like this

A( hyperventilating in excitement) : I’m telling you, I touched that guy and he was like..(pause for breath) dry! You know.. not a single drop of water on my finger..i mean I’d read about it but I didn’t know it was true !
B( gapes in shock): really !!come on!
A(nodding sagely) :its true ! and you know what, the guide told me that last year they actually had a drought ! a drought..can u bliv it? A drought!
B( clutching his heart ): I thought they wer mythical things man..like dragons and phoenixes you know !!
A( hopping up and down) : its true! Just to get an idea, I didn’t drink water/take a bath/brush my teeth for 5 days. They had to take me to the hospital but it was awesome man.. I was dry!!!!!!!!!!!!
B( collapses)
A( gazing down at him): poor guy! Couldn’t handle the jealusy I suppose!

And So it rains and it rains and it rains
And I develop gills.

HAPPY DIWALI !!

HAPPY DIWALI TO ALL!!
i love diwali!! it's my absolute favourite time of the year..and every year i used to wish i was filthy rich so that i could buy up the entire cracker shop..sadly that dream remains unfulfilled.
donations accepted.
sadly this year, i won't be able to celebrate diwali.. and i will miss it deeply. still it doesn't stop me from becoming infested with the diwali bug.. and i am hyper!
so i wish everybody a spectacular diwali..i hope all your wishes come true.
spread a few smiles, brighten up a few lives.. the greatest gift we have is the ability to smile and to make others smile.. so do that..
just a note: a few thousand rupees make me smile like anything..just a thought..!
HAPPY DIWALI !!!!!