twenty things.

right.
so i have been tagged.
deep breaths. think of trees. think of gently flowing water. think pink. deep breaths.

so apparently i have to write 20 things about myself..
hmmm..i could just make up 20 things about myself?? right? wrong! the gal who knows me the best is gonna read this and probably die laughing. for eg: i could say that my interests include working with geometrics and observing their relvance in contemporary life as exhibited by electrical appliances. i have no clue what i just wrote but i'm quite sure it doesn't make any sense. and somehwere, far far away, ruchita is falling off her chair laughing!
so here i go.
20 things about myself. true things.

one. i have terrible panic attacks. not the kind which i can laugh off or the kind which evryone has 10 times a day. im talking heavy duty stuff here. its a problem i discovered in std 7th the day before my history exam. in the throes of a panic attack i feel like the world is ending, that nothing can be right again , that my life is over. they are horrible. and i havent met anybody as yet who suffers from them .. so i feel pretty isolated.

two. i generally hate people the first time i meet them . believe me. i've hated all my good friends the first time i saw them. unexplicable but true..

three. i'm a shy shy person. which is why people mostly think i'm a snob when they first meet me. nope..that's just me putting up a brave exterior whereas inside the butterflies are flying around in droves. it takes me a long while to make friends.

four. i take friendship a bit too seriously. i expect a lot and give a lot. in my opinion, no relationship is worth having if you can't have a 100% of the other person. and i don't let go too easily! (how many of you are scared of me by now?)

five. a dog bit me once. so i hated dogs with a vengeance for sometime. then my sister brought home two cocker spaniel puppies and i fell head over heels in love for the first time. cuddles and hugs and liquid,limpid puppy eyes .. sigh!
i cherish a small hope that one day i'll be able to open a dog shelter of my own or maybe even be part of a dog protection society. one day.

six. i drink a lot . i used to totter home from bars , punch drunk and singing inane songs while doing a disoriented jig.. i had to be put into therapy and.. er..
ok fine ..fine! that's not true. can't blame a girl for trying
im a compulsive, obsessive tea drinker. tea is my therapy .. my escape, my drink of solitude. give me a cup of tea and i'm happy . the origin of this obsession dates back to my nerve shattering, brain splitting , board exam giving days. all i remember of those days is the piles of notes and text books and the cup of tea my mum used to make whenevr i took a break. so from then on, a cup of tea represents my mum's love.

seven. i have the self confidence of a snail. i totally believe i'm useless and worth my wieght in.. what .. snails? the only thing i am confident about is that i can write a book titled ' how to hate yourself and write a book about it '

eight. i am immensely proud about being a scorpio . sadly , it's the only thing which people find interesting about me . so now i generally don't tell people my name , i just tell them i'm a scorpio. and frankly, they really don't seem to care . they're too busy being impressed.

nine. my sister is younger than me. by 7 years. my sister is also taller than me . by 3 inches. i don't like it.

ten. i love to walk. i go for long walks and i go for short walks. i walk in the rain and i walk in the sun. but i only like to walk by choice .. tell me i have to walk and i won't.

eleven. i'm a profoundly unreasonable person. the smallest things can irritate me and the littlest of slights can make me angry. when i'm hurt or angry , i don't talk. i sulk. i withdraw into a shell and i hurt. when things go wrong , i can't deal with it there and then . i have to wait and allow myself to come to terms with it. my defence is in escapism. i can forgive but i never forget.

twelve. i'm a self-declared material girl. i love gifts and surprises. sometimes , it's ludicriously easy to please me. i can never stay angry for long . even if you buy me a lollipop i'll forget the 12 million quid you stole from me.the way to my heart is through my gift laden hands.

thirteen. i don't like ketchup . i don't drink soft drinks . and i can't tolerate sea food. but i love hot chilli with garlic sauce . i adore watermelon juice. and i would die for chicken.

fourteen. i don't like giving random compliments. sometimes i have to. but i generally won't give anybody a compliment until and unless i really truly mean it. but then, sometimes i can give a compliment and mean the exact opposite of it. it confuses a few people.

fifteen. i have no respect for people who aren't hard working and/or sincere. the results don't matter. it's the effort you put in that does.

sixteen. i have very flexible opinions. i can change my opinion on something 2-3 times a day. i am very influenced by other's opinions .which is why i'm a shaky decision maker. but once my decision is made.. it is made and absolutely nothing can change it.
no..just kidding.
once my decision is made ..i lose confidence in it and quickly make another one. and so ..the cycle continues. .

seventeen. i love birthdays. i don't believe people who say 'birthdays are just a state of mind' . nope..a birthday is a special day .it's your day . it's the day when you can walk around with a smile on your lips and expect only good things to happen to you. the day when you can let all your worries leave you. i believe in making them special. i believe in birthdays.

eighteen. i don't like crowds. they always put me in a bad mood and turn me into a fire spitting , people hating , people pushing and people shoving person.

nineteen. i spend 80% of any given day in my imagination. i have a whole parallel universe to myself and i love it because i know that it's always gonna have a happy ending.

twenty. i love happy endings . i also believe in we have the power to change any ending into a happy ending. i just wish i knew how to use that power. sigh!

and so it's done. phew!!