and so it goes on

well.
the past few days have been a struggle with myself . to delete or not to delete??
and even uptil five minutes ago,i was all prepared to just get rid of this blog. but then i kind of started reading my earliest posts and was quite shocked at the naivety with which I had embraced the world of blogging. It was like reading about a different part of me, a positive part of me. And I realised I didn't want to delete this blog right now, maybe sometime later..i really don't know. but not now.
things are not so good, but then they never will be perfect ,will they? and if I give up things so easily then what's the whole point right?
I was hating what my blog had become.. it was like the diary of a psychiatrist who notes down his patient's rantings and ravings.. in fact, i really expected some worthy psychiatrist(who blogs in his spare time) to leave his online visiting card proclaiming me to be the most fascinatingly depressed person he'd ever met.
so basically I was pissed.. with the fact that I couldn't right anything worthy enough of being read by anyone.
but you know,it's ok.. it's ok nobody cares. it's really ok. Like I mentioned earlier, hardly 3-4 people seem to even care whether I write stuff or not.. and it's OK . at least I will have 3 comments on my blog. I sound so materialistic but hey, guess what, I am.

I was really down in the dumps a week back.. and so I listened to a lot of songs, shut myself away from everyone and snapped at anyone who dared to even breathe within five feet of me. I went into a state of suspended limbo.
It kind of helped me retain the last shreds of sanity I had.
I echo what Ruchi wrote in her blog recently.. do I have to be the one to pull myself out of these miserable depths all the time? I mean,shouldn't somebody care enough to help me out of it?

Gosh, so much negativity!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Ok so, Nobody cares, get on with it!Move on.. ( see, that's my cynical inner voice speaking)

ok..positive stuff.. hmm.. I love drinking tea! yes.. now see, tea always makes me happy.. without exception, it's great stuff and miles better than coffee which dehydrates you and gets you addicted and ..and..I dunno..but it's worse than tea anyway. Also,what's the whole funda about coffee helping you keep awake? It's never happened to me! the strongest coffee doesn't do a thing for me. . so what's the fuss about?
I love my sister as well...man, she's something else..She's so chilled out about anything and everything..Nothing bothers her ..EVER! I'm thinking of taking lessons from her ..but really .. I just admire her nonchalance and it's great..worrying never heped anyone. She's so even tempered..she doesn't get crabby, never complains and basically keeps herself happy ALL the time.
My dad too is just awesome.. I really really admire him as well. He's got all the things in the world to worry about .. but he doesn't. He's great ! alas he's unfortunately the butt of all my mood swings .. hmmm..

oh and welcome back to ruchi, I'm so glad she decided not to close down her blog. I HATE CHANGE , and was really disappointed when she deleted her blog for a while.. but she's back now and I hope she blogs for many many years to come. Ooooh, I can just imagine her sitting in a rocking chair with a laptop on her lap and typing away while her great grandchildren run around her.. one of them will try putting a live caterpillar in her snowy white hair and she'll be so engrossed in her blogging, she won't notice!
and that's a nice visual to sign off with
:)
(please don't kill me ruchi..you know i love you :) )