weather woes..

what should i write about?
what should i say??
i started writing down a couple of lines but they seemed to be going nowhere. then i wrote a few more, but they were equally useless and prone to cause severe drooping of eyes (also known as boredom).
then i stopped and i thought and i wrote a few more. and a few more and am still writing them..
this is what happens when your brain and the rest of your facilities have an argument and decide to dissociate from each other thus causing severe side- effects to the poor unsuspecting person whose components they happen to be.
let me tell you something, this post is going nowhere.
my hands are itching and telling me that they want to write a post ..an intelligent post, my brain is telling me 'nothing doing dude' and is promptly putting up its feet and switching through channels.
so it transpires that this post is written without any help whatsoever from my brain.

anyway, this post is about something..
guess what? the weather! !
when in doubt,discuss the weather
much has been written and said and discussed about english weather. i'll just add my bit.
it has been year when water decided it will try for world domination . attempts resulted in the tsunami and hurricanes and random floods. the indefatigable human spirit overcame all of them . water realized it was fighting a losing battle. it has now decided that if it cannot drown all of us, it will depress us.
and so it rains.
it has been raining non-continuously for the past few days.
ah you say..that's better than it raining continuously right? nope.

it rains in the morning and then it stops, allowing a petrified sun to show us its face . thereby giving us false hope. we cheer up .make grand plans for the afternoon ( must get some shopping done today!) and just as we are triumphantly tripping along to the local market, the sun gives a squeal, disappears and the clouds reappear with much evil laughter (disguised as rumbling)
and it starts raining.
notice the precision of the timing. it didn't rain when we were close enough to dash back home, it doesn't wait till we are close enough to hop into a shop . oh no..it rains when we are smack in the middle!!

And it doesn’t rain, it drizzles. At least if it rained buckets there would be a small chance of a flood. Not that im partial to floods but it would give us an opportunity to dress up and climb onto the roof/cling to a tree/hang onto a rock and wave enthusiastically to the television cameras. 15 minutes of fame.

The English people though seem to be well adapted . im mildly surprised they haven’t developed fins or flippers till now.
Its raining and I am gazing morosely out of my window dreaming about happier days when I actually used to wish and wait for rain. now i just wish and wait for them to stop! talk about wishes being fulfilled!!

Two girls wearing shorts jog past . as I gaze at them incredously , a family decked up in full beach paraphernalia , carrying buckets and spades and chattering excitedly walks past. Im just about to rush out and offer them an umbrella when I stop, exhale and realize they’re English. Oh yeah.
I’ve discovered the English classify seasons according to the amount of rain.
Light drizzle= spring/summer
Heavy drizzle= autumn
Pouring rain= winter
And as I write this, I can see a gaggle of old ladies playing golf on the golf course in front of our house. they really seem to be enjoying themselves.. Oh.. need I mention? Its raining.

I don’t think that anything over here is ever really dry. Dry is a just a hypothetical and much fabled state similar to the land of Narnia.
When the English come back from vacations to dry countries, their conversations go something like this

A( hyperventilating in excitement) : I’m telling you, I touched that guy and he was like..(pause for breath) dry! You know.. not a single drop of water on my finger..i mean I’d read about it but I didn’t know it was true !
B( gapes in shock): really !!come on!
A(nodding sagely) :its true ! and you know what, the guide told me that last year they actually had a drought ! a drought..can u bliv it? A drought!
B( clutching his heart ): I thought they wer mythical things man..like dragons and phoenixes you know !!
A( hopping up and down) : its true! Just to get an idea, I didn’t drink water/take a bath/brush my teeth for 5 days. They had to take me to the hospital but it was awesome man.. I was dry!!!!!!!!!!!!
B( collapses)
A( gazing down at him): poor guy! Couldn’t handle the jealusy I suppose!

And So it rains and it rains and it rains
And I develop gills.