wham

oh dear..this post was supposed to be posted yesterday..but me being me,this post is now posted today.
.ahem.. am back after a long time..
i left without an asta la vista baby type note... simply because i had no idea i would be away for so long.. and it has been long .
today i am tearfully reunited with my blog and my keyboard.. (i swear i heard the enter key sniffing).. emotional indeed!
first post of 2006.. was supposed to be the last of 2005..
that does say a thing or two about my time management skills, doesn't it?

what a year ! a strange, hazy, excruciating, terrifying year.
lots of firsts and lots of lasts..
this has undoubtedly been the year of travelling!! pingponging between timezones and climates.. tiring but strangely exhilarating! or maybe that's just my perpetual jet lag speaking?
also the year of tearful departures and ecstatic reunions... i've had so many false starts..waving goodbye ,wondering when we'll meet again..imagining a distant far away time when i'll be smarter,sleeker and somehow better looking(plastic surgery anyone?) only to land up at their doorsteps two months later.. fate indeed..
definitly a testing time for relationships and a time which has given me a lot of answers and left me with a lot more questions.
my poor colg pals are overworked and stressed out...but despite having a schedule busier than the president and the workload of 10..they still managed to spend time with me! superwomen thats what they are..
pritz and snia.. u guys were THE best! calling me up to chek up on me..making sure i enjoyed myself..apologising all the time for bein late/cancellin a date.. watching late nite movies when u'd rather be sleeping..keeping your promises of college trips and sleepovers. i appreciate the effort guys! just wait till i'm filthy rich..

a few things i realised last year :
1. have decided to be extra special nice to people. in this dumb world where everybody concentrates their energies into ignoring/hating/backstabbing/badmouthing others.. it's important to be nice.. at the end of the day ,that's who you'l remember.
2. times change, people change, situations change.. i HATE change!
3. smart people don't think! thinking is the root of all problems
4. email ids are more important than phone numbers.
5. everybody is fighting their own battles.. the grass may be greener but at the end of the day, its grass after all.
6. there is such a thing as good karma .. what goes around, does indeed come around.
7. it's essential to make new memories without letting go of the old ones
8. when one is depressed/distressed/dismal , it is best to give oneself up to said situation completely..and not fight it. it's the best way to get rid of it asap.
9. what you think others think is actually not what they think .. so don't think! (refer 3)
10. being judgemental is a vile trait. its best to observe and absorb. an open mind saves a lot of grief.

i am now staying with my parents after a long time. had totally forgotten how irritating they could be! and judging by their expressions.. they suffered a similar delusion.
parents..sigh..can't live with them ,can't live without them (sigh!)
also my parents love for me continues to astound me. never thought such unadulterated love existed. so mommy and daddy, even though you bug me and frustrate me and harass me and drive me out of my mind , i love you more and more each day. .

these are a few of my favorite things (as discovered in'o5)
1.sunshine ( obviosly prompted by my shift to this sunshine deprived island )
2. my blog (ahem)
3. VOGUE .. the sheer indulgence.. sigh
4. sparkle, shine, glitter, gloss .. all that dazzles is gold indeed to me
5. my sister. yes, it did take 15 years for realisation to dawn

you know, there's a lot of hullabaloo about harboring expectations. people wonder what's the point of having expectations when all they do is disappoint you most of the time. i wish i could disagree, but sadly, personal experiences dictate otherwise. some of the people i trusted the most have thoroughly disappinted me recently. all i can say is, situations change all the time and relationships are tested everyday. one can only survive by trying one's very best and not giving in. but i guess if a friendship can't survive a few changes, it wasn't worth it in the first place, is it?
but i'm going to persevere anyway..

a few things i need this year
1. personal space ..need it! need it! need it!
2. a smooth writing pen
3. opinions ..my own that is.
4. marian keyes new book 'further under the duvet'
5. a dog ..desperately!
6. a wicked sense of humor / common sense . i'll settle for either.
7. a big huge grand marvellous surprise party

a lot of good wishes and love came my way last year, it was quite humbling to witness it. it's always a surprise to me when people care. the smallest gestures are the ones which touch me to the core. but then, i guess it's important to be intensely grateful of all good things that come your way.
i am a completely superstitious character in some areas of my life. talking too much about a good thing just about kills it. if a bad thing happens to you, by all means crib/cry/moan about it. after all, the whole point of having a problem is to communicate the enormity of it.. but as soon as something good happens, i'd rather shut up about it.. i just can't handle the pressure of talking about it as i'm so scared that it will all reverse and leave me flat on my face.

for those of you wondering about the title.. . it's just that i decided to try my own theory and NOT think more than is required. as apparent, the theory isn't foolproof.
but then i just won't think about it.