a nameless fear

Prologue:
I have a phobia of buses ..I don't know why and I don't know how.. . coz no bus has ever done anything bad to me , but there it is
my nameless fear


In my first year of college , I had to stay at my friend's (aka Herself) place due to circumstances . this of course , was fun.. but there was a slight glitch .
You see , we had to travel by bus everyday so as to reach college. Fine.. I thought i am young , i am brave .. big deal! i can do it.. i bet it will be fun.haha
The next day saw me standing bravely (but bleary eyed) next to Herself , waiting for The bus. There were 10 million others waiting around and I wondered vaguely what bus they were going to catch . Turns out ,they were all catching the same bus. As the bus trundled into view , there was a mini stampede which left me sputtering in the dust as the very experienced Herself pulled me by the collar while simultaneously trying to board the bus along with the fifteen other gorillas ( ok..they were actually women . you cant blame me though)
Now that we're in the bus , it is a matter of preparing ourselves for the 45 minute journey . the bus probably had a seating capacity of 40..but there were a few extra people on board like ..say around a 100..
I was still slightly cross-eyed from being stampeded upon , but Herslf was in full fighting mode ..she shoved and pushed and somehow managed to find 4 square inches where we could stand. It seemed like a 3-bedroom apartment to me. There are no seats available ..why does that not surprise me?
The conductor then decided to collect the tickets . I put my hand where my bag was supposed to be but is not .. I look around horrified and spot the object in question ten feet away resting between the sweaty backs of two auntyjis ..oh dear..
Herself says not to worry , the bag will find its way back to me. While i ponder the improbability of this statement and nervously eyeing my bag , the bus stops and fifty more people get on while two get off. in the resulting ruckus , our 4 square inches are reduced to 2.4 square inches (a single bedroom apartment maybe?) and people shift and sort themselves out , my bag does indeed land 2 feet away from me compelling me to perform a complicated manoeuvre worthy of an Olympic acrobat to retrieve it. Ah! triumph at last. I turn and grin at Herself but instead find a lady ( i use the term in the loosest way possible ) looking at me as she would at the fungus on her toilet seat. I send a quick prayer up hoping that she is a vegetarian and is thus disinclined to eat me.
After which ,I go into a head turning frenzy trying to locate Herself . I find her waving at me reassuringly five feet away . I sigh and wait for her to find her way back to me. The bus stops at every stop and even otherwise, causing much shifting and shuffling while the bus magically expands and everybody finds a seat ..
What? ..oh..silly me..that was just my oxygen deprived brain playing cruel tricks on me!
I suddenly realise that my 2.4 inches of space has now been hijacked and I am left with my feet dangling 5 inches off the ground . Thankfully , Herself is back next to me and in a similar position. As the bus trundles along, I look around and wonder why I hated buses so much . This is positively delightful , hanging around (literally) , clutching my tee lest it gets torn off , receiving leering looks from the males species and jeering ones from the female species ( I can’t bring myself to call them humans) , and the icing right at the top of my fungus infested cake is inhaling the lovely odour floating around in a mild fog in the bus. Obviously these good people don’t believe in deodorants or toothbrushes but are instead really close to nature.
I would give anything to travel like this forever ..wouldn’t you?
The bus is slowing down and Herself is nudging me and muttering that our stop is next . What?? already ? I’m not ready to leave as yet.
Apparently, getting off the bus is another complicated procedure which Herself has spent the whole of last night devising . As she flaps about trying to explain it to me , I space out.
Herself looks concerned at my detached expression but then gets a steely glint in her eyes and grabs my hand and by some super-womanesque power manages to get us both to the door just as the bus stops . As we are getting off ,the rest of the world is getting on and as I get dragged along by the throng , Herself clings determinedly to my bag and pulls me off the bus.
We lie on the pavement , panting and wheezing and feeli ng as if we have just fought World War 3 all by ourselves. Herself gathers her wits and gets me a cup of tea to help me recuperate. While I slowly regain my senses , Herslf assesses our damages which include a rip in my jeans , a missing zip from her bag and of course , my temporary insanity.
Herself tells me from suffering from shock and am having an out-of-body experience.. What !? She must be kidding ..I just really like that bus .
We grin at each other and fall about giggling.

Epilogue:
I travelled by bus many more times aided by veterans like Herself . Soon ,however , I developed the nerves of steel and rhino hide required by frequent bus travellers. I am proud to say I no longer have out of body experiences while on a bus.
You must try it .Really , it’s the most comforting experience ever.