the human pendulum

i have a sneaking suspicion that when God made her..He was probably suffering from severe constipation.He didn't know what emotions and feelings to give her..or maybe He was just too much in a rush to get to the loo..so He bundled up all of them and stuffed them inside her.
and left us to suffer the consequences.

she is a creature of mood swings (kindly note:not moods but mood swings)..a phenomenon causing her to be known as the human pendulum.

kindly observe the following symptoms:

she is a great conversationalist..adores talking to people and can jabber on and on for hours ; requiring the people she is talking to , to be rushed to the emergency room because an overlaod of information (mostly rubbish) has caused their brains to dissolve.
on some days of course , when the pendulum has swung to the other extreme..one is hard put to get a word out of her.in fact, we would be more successful in getting tony blair to spill the beans on what color his knickers are, rather than get her to tell us what time it is.

she is a fabulous dancer..one of the best i have seen. and she lives to perform.
of course, this very fact causes her to not dance in public.. i mean.. one has to force her to shake a leg even (literally). and if by mistake or some miraculous stroke of fate she manages to jiggle her hand too.. well, we almost collapse in shock..coz u see that is a rare occurence...

the gal has a very versatile mane of hair..changes according to her mood.
most of the days she turns up looking like she has been dragged backwards through a bush.
and then just when you start accepting this 'human which resembles a door-mat' as your friend..
she turms up groomed to movie-star perfection- her hair a glossy mane.. she makes angelina jolie look like the resident maid.and of course,makes us feel like we're bathroom mats..

i have to admit though - she has an eccentric and extensive wardrobe.
she has clothes which range from a size 18 to a size 6..and they're all for her.
so , on some days she wears clothes which make her look slightly better than a sack full of potatoes..
and the next week she turns up in a short short skirt ..which of course,needless to say causes all the guys to spend their entire day trying to look up it.

and of course.. guys!!
what can i say..
she has spent half her life making friends with guys, cracking jokes, spending time and basically making them fall in hopelessly in love with her..
and the rest half trying to avoid falling in love herself.

she enthusiastically agrees to sleepovers which involve watching ten movies,dancing to inane songs, chatting all night long and basically not sleeping at all.
and then she is the first one to fall asleep leaving us gritting our teeth in frustration.

so you see the predicament we, her friends are in?
being with her requires hours of careful planning and much poring over complex charts monitoring her moods..
trying to handle her is like trying to handle three 4 year old kids at once
i'm sure i would be better of being friends with a white shark..a very hungry one at that.

yet i don't give her up..why you ask?
here's why
coz having her around makes my life a little more interesting.. a little more exciting.
coz when she misses your birthday, she actually spends hours trying to make it up to you.
coz she's the first one to tell you that the guy you're lusting after is a prime loser.
coz she's so protective that she would personally bash up ne1 who hurts you if she could.
coz she listens intently when you ramble on about how unfair life is to you and how you have been victimised by one and all, and then offers you her quiet support.
coz she tells you all her problems and actually think you're smart enough to solve them.
coz she really loves you but will never tell you that.
coz lights up a room with her positive energy and cheer.
coz she's every1's friend and yet exclusively your pal.
coz she loves srk.

now i have no clue how she'll react when she reads this .so excuse me while i plot a graph and figure it out.