time is inversely proportional to importance

ok that's it..
it's official now...set in stone and covered in plastic!
i am officially .. ...wait for it.. it's coming... DISPOSABLE!!
there..i've said it!!

this is something i've struggled with all my life and it seems to have increased ten-fold with each b'day... reaching mammoth proportions recently..therby forcing me to acknowledge its evil presence!
see, it goes like this ..
i am in a state of transition as of now... and no ..not the kind of state of transition lord buddha was in as he shifted gears from human to saint via enlightenment.
college has ended.. university has yet to start.. leaving me in a state of limbo juggling my tangled up emotions and combing my equally tangled up hair..

a weird and ironical twist or rather contortion of fate
i remember numerous times when i pleaded with God to take my life but give me more time..
God having the wondeful sense of humor that he does..
decided to confuse me by actually granting my wish
and tadaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
3 years too late.
i have time on my hands .. whereas now id rather have brad pitt on my hands ..

so basically i have nothing to do.
which leaves me in a precarious position.. available! !for anything and everything..
you name it and i'm there!

currently , my list of activities for the day would include
1.staring into space ala 'the great thinker' ( not!)
2.comparing the merits of red tomatoes to green peas ( yes, it is as useless as it sounds)
3.trying out all the pens around the house( whoooppee-dee-doooo)
4.counting the blades of grass in my garden ( fascinating procedure i tell u)
importance quotient: 0.00

if i was truly important i would
1.never sleep
2.never eat
3.communicate with acquaintances every leap year or so
4.have dark circles the size of the state of california
importance quotient:100.00

but oh no!! i actually get 8 hours of sleep ( i bet no one's ever heard of that!!)
eat 3 meals a day( sacrilege!!)
communicate with acquaintances every alternate minute( sob!)
have no dark circles or any other signs of busier than thou lifestyle..
i might as well just confess that my skin is actually glowing and end it all...sigh!


incidents which highlight my uselessnes and therby my non-importance:
incident 1:
so i recieve e-mails from my oh-im-so-busy-i-havent-slept-since-2001 pals ( sorry guys!) and of course, i reply promptly considering oh-im-so-useless-i-just-got-up-15mins-ago ..
and then i wait for the next mail..which will hopefully arrive sometime next april.
see..see..
the whole point of e-mails is that 1 is not supposed to check them everyday much less every 7 minutes..
1 is supposed to lead too-busy-to-scratch-my-ass lives and then one fine day open their mail to discover 'you have 20008967 new mails'..
(20008966 of which will be from me..)
such incidents highlight, emphasize and underline in flourescent highlighter , ones importance!

incident 2:
i have a profile page on a 'connecting people' website..
everybody's profile pages are blank simply coz they're too busy .. leaving others wondering what kind of secret and terribly fascinating lives they lead..
whereas my profile is as comprehensive as the oxford 'not-so-concise' dictionary..containing pics rite from the days when i ws an embryo to the days when ..well..i was not an embryo..

my profile is like a cluttered salvador dali painting which disgusts people on sight ..
and everybody else's : a piece of abstract art which people ooh and aah over and create romatic interpretations of..
observe the side-effects of an oh-im-so-useless-i-have-nothing-better-to-do-than-complete-my-profile life..

incident 3:
now..consider a situation whence one has to go out somewhere.
the accepted and indeed admired norm is that one should arrive at the door ready to step out of the house , as late as possible.
indeed..the later you are..the further it is a testament to your tight as a girdle and overflowing with importance schedule..
sigh..
and needless to say i am not late...
i am ready and waiting dot on the clock which, as we all by now know..is not the correct thing to do..
one is supposed to make other's wait ..not wait for others..duh!
so i hang around on the porch twiddling my thumbs (another one of my fascinating day-time activities) and contemplating whether it would be better to hang myself or jump into the lake..

so you see, how disposable i am...
! in fact, i can just about hear the box of tissues ( disposable ones!!!) sitting next to me and sniggering at my pathetic situation.

so i'll sign off now
i have to turn up for a 3 0'clock lunch at (gasp! gasp!) 3 o'clock !!

don't i have anything better to do? NO I DON'T!!