Thank God

itz crazy how many things can irk you in a single day. my internet has suddenly gone on strike..proceeding with the a slowness that makes me want to tear my hair out. In fact, I could possibly tear my hair out, or better still,pluck then out one by one, go for a hair weaving procedure and pluck my new hair out one by one again and still, the bar will only show three bars out of ten. I could maybe even pioneer an anti -ageing technique, write a best selling novel, live in australia for a year, win a nobel prize and come back and still the bars would be just five out of ten.
of course, considering the internet was the only thing working on my computer..i take its prehistoric style slowness as a personal insult.
earlier, the computer had decided that it would refuse to download any images from the net IN jPEG format. Well, that was ok, gifted with the incredible talent and genius that I am, i just downloaded them in gif or bitmap and converted to jpeg in paint.) See,i had to convert them to jpeg odrwise they wouldn't open in photoshop. )
The comp of course,rose gloriously to the challenge and decided it wouldn't open any downloaded images in any software. Even my genius couldn't see a way out of that one, so I resorted to using the college computers for image downloads. Of course, that meant I had to spend almost two hours travelling each day,even on holz but itz ok.. i don't have a life anyway.
Then of course, the comp had to go one step further and it decided to attack my most vulnerable spot,my photoshop. All the functions came to a grinding halt and the ones that did work, did weird things hitherto unknown to me. I think that was the day, my dad and sis had to tie me to a chair and sedate me coz they'd caught me trying to burn the comp.

but you know what,itz ok!
Thank God that the I have the time and the energy to waste my life worrying about such things. Thank God that a compz personal vendetta is what keepz me awake at night.
Thank God I have the money and the capability to catch a bus each day.
Thank God I have the wit and the brains to hold my own (even if it'z against a stupid comp)
Thank God I can give submissions and face criticismz from tutors coz my work wasnt upto the mark.
Thank God for the luxury of cribbing and crying.
Thank God for the power of imagination that helps me concoct fantastic scenarios for torturing the tutors in question.
so..
Thank God for a lot of things that I don't deserve. (including the comp)

and so it goes on

well.
the past few days have been a struggle with myself . to delete or not to delete??
and even uptil five minutes ago,i was all prepared to just get rid of this blog. but then i kind of started reading my earliest posts and was quite shocked at the naivety with which I had embraced the world of blogging. It was like reading about a different part of me, a positive part of me. And I realised I didn't want to delete this blog right now, maybe sometime later..i really don't know. but not now.
things are not so good, but then they never will be perfect ,will they? and if I give up things so easily then what's the whole point right?
I was hating what my blog had become.. it was like the diary of a psychiatrist who notes down his patient's rantings and ravings.. in fact, i really expected some worthy psychiatrist(who blogs in his spare time) to leave his online visiting card proclaiming me to be the most fascinatingly depressed person he'd ever met.
so basically I was pissed.. with the fact that I couldn't right anything worthy enough of being read by anyone.
but you know,it's ok.. it's ok nobody cares. it's really ok. Like I mentioned earlier, hardly 3-4 people seem to even care whether I write stuff or not.. and it's OK . at least I will have 3 comments on my blog. I sound so materialistic but hey, guess what, I am.

I was really down in the dumps a week back.. and so I listened to a lot of songs, shut myself away from everyone and snapped at anyone who dared to even breathe within five feet of me. I went into a state of suspended limbo.
It kind of helped me retain the last shreds of sanity I had.
I echo what Ruchi wrote in her blog recently.. do I have to be the one to pull myself out of these miserable depths all the time? I mean,shouldn't somebody care enough to help me out of it?

Gosh, so much negativity!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Ok so, Nobody cares, get on with it!Move on.. ( see, that's my cynical inner voice speaking)

ok..positive stuff.. hmm.. I love drinking tea! yes.. now see, tea always makes me happy.. without exception, it's great stuff and miles better than coffee which dehydrates you and gets you addicted and ..and..I dunno..but it's worse than tea anyway. Also,what's the whole funda about coffee helping you keep awake? It's never happened to me! the strongest coffee doesn't do a thing for me. . so what's the fuss about?
I love my sister as well...man, she's something else..She's so chilled out about anything and everything..Nothing bothers her ..EVER! I'm thinking of taking lessons from her ..but really .. I just admire her nonchalance and it's great..worrying never heped anyone. She's so even tempered..she doesn't get crabby, never complains and basically keeps herself happy ALL the time.
My dad too is just awesome.. I really really admire him as well. He's got all the things in the world to worry about .. but he doesn't. He's great ! alas he's unfortunately the butt of all my mood swings .. hmmm..

oh and welcome back to ruchi, I'm so glad she decided not to close down her blog. I HATE CHANGE , and was really disappointed when she deleted her blog for a while.. but she's back now and I hope she blogs for many many years to come. Ooooh, I can just imagine her sitting in a rocking chair with a laptop on her lap and typing away while her great grandchildren run around her.. one of them will try putting a live caterpillar in her snowy white hair and she'll be so engrossed in her blogging, she won't notice!
and that's a nice visual to sign off with
:)
(please don't kill me ruchi..you know i love you :) )