Monday, March 20, 2006

is it just me?

this should be a short post.
i was planning to put up a post after a while. a decent post,one that would have made some sense but then in a rare moment of lucidity, i realised that might be many many moons away. by that time, man would have discovered the existence of extra-terrestrials and would have put them in zoo on mars and would be running regular shuttles to Mars/Pluto to view these hapless extraordinary creatures and people like tom cruise and paris hilton (who are dripping money and who would probably eat money if they could) would be photographed grinning (that's tom) and pouting(paris ..could be tom too actually) next to a particularly stunning specimen of alienhood.
so basically, by that time, everybody would be too busy to take moment of a rare moment of lucidity on my blog and that made me decide to write a post.
and here we are.

so i'm a bit busy.
so what? not busy enough to not write this post right?
but actually, i am that busy.it's just that sometimes i have these 'moments' where i simply give up on stuff.. i just stop caring. nothing affects me. i just don't care. now, given that 99.99% of my time is spent in caring too much about absolutely everything under the sun (and the moon), i figure these rare moments are well deserved and much needed. It is in such moments that I experience what it must be like to be a 'chilled out' person. one who can prioritise and only worry about the things really really worth worrying about.
I mean there must be insanity in a person who gives worrying about the fact that I have a zit the size of africa on my nose, the same importance as worrying about the terrible, terrible presentation I have coming up and which it will take me four years to prepare for but I only have one week and I have NO clue what I'm doing or whether I should be doing it at all and everybody else seems so smug and prepared for it and all I can do is try and sneak a peek at the bursting files ...
See? There should be some priorities? I mean,the zit is infinitely worse..


So sometimes I really do wish I didn't worry so much about so many things. It really doesn't help. and then I really wonder if it's just me?
I am full of admiration for people who can organise and prioritise their worries. and am almost respectful for people who don't worry at all! Those are the ones who fascinate me. They take life as it comes, handling one thing at a time,knowing that even five days down the line, these worries won't be of any importance whatsoever.
Seriously, we worry so much about so many transient things which just won't matter in the future.

I figure there should be some sort of a balance beteween these two extremes. and kudos to the person who manges that. I know I'll never be able to because I'm just not made that way. I f I don't worry about silly stuff,I 'll worry about why I'm not worrying about it. I just can't win!

so well,my rare moment of peace is now all but gone. Worrying thoughts about how much time I've already wasted are already seeping in and corroding my momentary inner peace.
I needed this break, away from myself. I can be really bugging.